Sunday, August 9, 2009

Friday, August 7th i think… or maybe it’s thursday… depending on the country.

My nails are bright orange, my hair is dark brownish red, I have a new twine bracelet and I am wearing a neon green shirt sitting in the Frankfurt Airport by myself. I guess the only thing that’s the same is the color of my braces. And they are faded. J I can’t wait to go see my orthodontist when I get back. Maybe I have a weird obsession, but she is really cool, and she is from Poland. Double Whammy.

I was just looking through the pictures of this summer on i-photo. And now I feel like everything is just a blur. Jess, Jordan, and Kohl all left me sitting here staring out the big airport window by myself. Laura and Michal dropped us off at the security line in Katovice. Did this summer really happen? Or did I just go through one of those time-warp, Narnia-like machines, and the three months of this summer will only have been but three moments to the people back home. So many people will ask about my experiences, but few will really care. Lots of people will remember I traveled to Poland, but there will be others that forgot. God, at least I can be sure that what has happened in my heart is a treasure to you. I can be secure that my heart adventures and the lessons I have learned are like gold in your book.

Specifically, one picture from Poland sticks in my mind. The picture of Estery Street. Earlier in June, Laura walked me down the Jewish Quarter of Krakow and through the ghetto there. We also went into a synagogue and saw the old Jewish cemetery. But, the thing that hit me the hardest was a street named, “Estery.” Queen Ester, definitely worth naming a street after, stepped up for the Jews in hard times. She believed in “for such a time as this,” and combated her insecurities because deliverance was calling. And that is God’s plan. He delivers His people.

I think of another moment, not too long ago when Laura and I attended mass at one of the most famous, old and central Cathedrals in Krakow. It was beautiful inside. I watched as the two priests walked up the aisles and then turned into this tiny, highly adorned side room. There was probably room for ten people in there and the old men and women sought community and help from a more powerful being. But, as they looked up, only gold-lined statues and boxes were before them. I didn’t realize what the Catholic Church was really like in Poland. I know that there are many Catholic believers where I’m from, but here, the candle-lit room reeked with longing… “I’m doing all that I can. Are you there? God, I look good!” Then the central event of communion happened and the priest downed the entire glass of wine. They unlocked a gold box with the crucifix over it, and started to hand out wafers to the commoners who would walk up front. In the box, the wafers were believed to literally become the body of Christ. Then, as the service closed, the box was re-locked, the connection lost, the priests left duty, and the people ran to go to work. It made me feel like God remained in that little golden box. The eyes of the priest in training told me more that I wanted to know, and summed up the mass for me. His eyes were full of deceit. And I shivered as he looked at me. I remember a postcard I saw in Krakow... it said, “No Future for Poland.” But, this is exactly why I was in Poland this summer. It hit me hard…Dan and Laura, Greg and Heidi, Alice, me and all the other JV missionaries aren’t in Poland to testify to my love. They are there to proclaim Jesus. And what is God’s vision here? He sees what is dead, and raises it to life. He sees darkness, and becomes its light. He sees longing, and becomes true fulfillment. He sees despair, and He becomes hope. He gives a future to Poland. And Poland is lost, as I witnessed through the enormously tiny Catholic mass. Jesus loves Poland…so, so, so much.

The third thing I want to tell you about is an event that happened yesterday. (My days are a little mixed up especially when I’ve been living in “today” for threeish days now. No matter how many people explain time-zones to me, I still don’t understand them. Please don’t try to be that “one” person who believes they can explain it to me… no. Hands down it just doesn’t make sense. How can flying on an airplane only take 4 hours sometimes, and then the same route another time take 17? I know there is wind speed or something involved, but come on, even if there was uphill and downhill in the air, the 13 hours difference is just a little too moody for my mind to comprehend. Long side note – sorry. J) So, I went on a run with Zoedog. We ran up a small, steep hill and sat by the train tracks asking God to speak. I know that God pursues His circles of faithfulness in my life because I started and ended this summer with a run where I heard God’s voice. “God, talk to me. Tell me You’re near me. Give me a hug. What’s up?” The winds of embrace blew my now brown curls over my face. “Kaylanne, I am here now, but tomorrow when you leave, I will also be there. Kaylanne, please listen to me and go wherever I tell you to go. That is your peace... to follow my calling. And now, I release you from Poland. Good job this summer… now it’s time to go home. That is where you need to go.” I want to go home. I need rest. I need the love of my family. And I need to look at the mountains and even remember that I am the apex of creation, even over those 14ers.

So, I pray the armor of God over me. I need it on the field, but I really need it going back to America, specifically Colorado and Waco. I claim the Helmet of Christ’s Salvation. I claim the Breastplate of God’s righteousness. I claim and put on the Belt of Truth. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. I pick up the Shield of Faith… faith is the adventure I seek, and there is always room for more faith in my life. I don’t want to be “oh ye of little faith.” I pick up the Sword of the Spirit. It is my offense. It is my weapon. And I buckle onto my feet the Sandals that are quick to spread the Gospel of Peace. The gospel transforms people. Jesus… He is my gospel… and He brings peace.

Thanks for letting me open up my mouth and spell out my heart with words to you this summer. I love words, and words are my love language. Therefore, as you finish reading my journey, my prayer is that you would feel deeply loved. I love you, but am confident that God is for sure the author and protector of that love. So Nara… Adios… Goodbye.

Oh, one more thing. Can I finish with the passage I started with? Isaiah 40 sums up so much of my journey this summer. And it is a bold circle of God’s faithfulness to me.

Isaiah 40

Comfort for God's People
"Comfort, comfort my people,
says your God.

Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and proclaim to her
that her hard service has been completed,
that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the LORD's hand
double for all her sins.

A voice of one calling:
"In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.

Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.

And the glory of the LORD will be revealed,
and all mankind together will see it.
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

A voice says, "Cry out."
And I said, "What shall I cry?"
"All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.

The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the LORD blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.

The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever."

You who bring good tidings to Zion,
go up on a high mountain.
You who bring good tidings to Jerusalem,
lift up your voice with a shout,
lift it up, do not be afraid;
say to the towns of Judah,
"Here is your God!"

See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
and his arm rules for him.
See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?

Who has understood the mind of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?

Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?

Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.

Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires,
nor its animals enough for burnt offerings.

Before him all the nations are as nothing;
they are regarded by him as worthless
and less than nothing.

To whom, then, will you compare God?
What image will you compare him to?

As for an idol, a craftsman casts it,
and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
and fashions silver chains for it.

A man too poor to present such an offering
selects wood that will not rot.
He looks for a skilled craftsman
to set up an idol that will not topple.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

He brings princes to naught
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

"To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

this equals GIRLS bathroom

this equals BOYS bathroom

Queen Ester Street

This is Auschwitz. I was so utterly horrified at the window collection of the prosthesis, crutches, and wheelchairs. No one wanted these people. The Nazi's only brought them to kill them and make money off of their metal. Even today people still want to throw away handicapped people. I questioned and hurt deep, deep down... and then God's voice touched me. "I want them." When I walked outside the building, I saw these two men.

This is Saint Mary's Cathedral in the centrum of Krakow where I attended Mass.


Edi and me. i love her a lot.













the intern team!













all of us in a tiny fiat... in america they are so small you cannot even drive them on the road.












Jess and Me on the beach in Germany!














LAURA. Our hearts are very close. And I dedicate these lyrics to you... "I can see the rising of the sun. Whispering to, wondering free. I can hear the thunder on the lake. Wondering still, finding it's fear. It seems a moment and then I was gone. Although it ended I hoped it had just begun. Ocean's away will never be a reason good enough to say goodbye. Time spent away could never mean this isn't worth the wait. I'm not goin anywhere. I can see a new flake sailing down. Kissing the earth, rested than gone. I can feel a hand take hold of mine. The beauty displayed and wrapped in my arms." -Season Pass. Oceans Away